And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
