Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
