All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
