I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
