u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
