Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
