I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
