I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
