nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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