You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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