yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
