Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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