i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
