How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
