What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
