Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
