i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
