ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
