Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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