I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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