I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
