the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize