i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
