u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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