I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
