After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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