so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
even my farts smell like vagina
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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