Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
