Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
