just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
