Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
