12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
