Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How does one acquire holy water?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
