so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
