If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
