I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
