It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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