do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
