you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
