I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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