Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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