I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize