you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
