wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
