bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
