there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
