Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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