Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
