i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
