glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
