my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
