@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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