so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
