I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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