I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
