Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
