brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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