But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
