Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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