no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
