remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
